Friday, September 3, 2010

Daily challenges we face: How does one cope??


There is often many times I have wanted to go on a cruise and NEVER come back when face with a challenge that is FAR too hard to handle. But, that would be an unrealistic and unacceptable choice for there are many family and friends who would frown upon my idea of an escape.

SO, HOW do you deal with the daily challenges?? More importantly a very BIG challenge like depression. This is prevalent to the subject on hand...making a good and reasonable choice to handle such a challenge.

Every challenge is handled differently and to the best of their ability by each person who is experiencing this challenge. I have been seeing so many challenges my friends AND myself included that one cannot fathom another human being to be in that person's shoes. It's NOT fair or right to make quick judgments to tell someone to get a reality check or have a wake up call when this challenge can be so overwhelming that realistic thoughts and feelings are not clearly well thought out.

I say this because I saw this in a post submitted by a popular radio host here in Seattle, Washington (106.9FM KRWM). The post was about a gentleman who said he was feeling ugly and unlovable. This brought tears to my eyes...this person is crying out for help - NOT professionally but for moral support.

The radio personality's question, "Are there any words of support?" received an array of responses, a good amount of wonderful supportive and kind words and THEN there were some just downright insensitive and negative responses. I could not help but want to show compassion...I strongly felt that was what he was needing and wanting so despairingly! Reaching out is the key to surviving in this world and facing your challenge(s).

SO, here is what I said:

I don't think that someone needs a wakeup call or a reality check when one feels ugly and unlovable. This gentleman is reaching out for help to deal with this insecurity.

It is a disservice to dismiss him in a negative way NOT saying it was mean of what Julie said above. What he does need is positive re-enforcement not a slap into reality. Support, love and care are important elements to compassion and that is indeed what this person is asking for here, as I see it.

Delilah is here to give supportive responses as a compassionate person. This gentleman must KNOW that or else he wouldn't have come here for her help. Life is already HARD as it is and to compound feeling ugly and unlovable makes the soul feel hopeless.

Not knowing how old this gentleman is...perhaps there is a place he could go to for support and build self-esteem. I haven't a clue for suggestions on places at the moment BUT someone on here may see this post of Delilah's and may have a place or suggestion.

To the gentleman who is suffering here...just know that you are a human being who deserves a chance to love and to be loved NO matter your physical attributes. There is someone for each person who is willing to love and can return that love...it does start within you.

I wish you all the best. And, I pray that you find happiness and joy as I have in my life having overcome similar feelings you have and are still feeling. May God Bless you. ♥

It is supportive words that can strongly make a difference in a person's choice with his/her challenge(s). It is compassion for another human being that makes humankind to continually improve this world.

Just take the time for another human being who is in a world of hurt...it takes a minute to start.

Life is too short and precious....take the time to care for another human fellow, BE there for him/her.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Trying to understand why people say things to hurt others...


I am either going through a metamorphosis or in a real need to change my thinking and actions. I currently am a member of the social networking group called Facebook.



Facebook has been a blessing in disguise for me as I have been going through some things in my life where I find this social networking group my therapy. It is free of service but there is some pay involved and that is the reactions of some of my "friends" (people whom I thought were friends) and their domino effect that they have made on and in my life.


Overall, don't get me wrong, I love my friends on Facebook. It's just the few I have come across who are socially inept with their own feelings that they lashed out on me. Or, they have had a bad day. Or, the list is endless on how and WHY they say things to hurt me and I wonder...do they really understand the impact they have on me (or had on me)?? Is it okay that they do this?? I am not in their shoes therefore I cannot read their minds. We all have ways on how we are dealing with life. Some positive and some not. Who is to know why people say things to hurt others...??

I am a very social, bubbly and genuinely happy person who wants to share...and share ALOT. Perhaps I post too much on my Facebook wall. But, as the status on my wall asks, "What's on your mind?" then I tend to go to task and write out what's on my mind. Does that mean I need to be mindful of HOW much and WHAT I write?? Yes and no.

Yes, I should be allowed to write what's on my mind. But write quality, healthy and caring sharing. My sharing is upbeat, happy and resourceful fun that compels me to write in that manner. My true friends have enjoyed and still enjoy my posts that I share on a daily basis. These friends have shown true loyalty and are fierce to voice their opinions and feelings about how at times how badly I am treated by those who do not appreciate nor care about my posts.

No, not everyone is interested in seeing what I write every day - in and out. It can be overwhelming. However, there are several options given to each and every one of us on Facebook. One can skim over my posts and go onto the next person's posts. One can block my posts. One can share in a message telling me they don't like what I write (which several have done). Or simply delete me from their friend list.

Common sense is to to DELETE them. It is the most viable solution. But, it doesn't feel good to either be the one to delete or to be deleted. It has left me sick in my stomach as I have done this twice now. It hurts because I want to be liked by everyone. That is an unrealistic dream for me or anyone else in life and on Facebook OR anywhere one is. Yet, this still leaves me wondering WHY do people say hurtful things?

Writing is a true therapy in addition to cooking, baking and volunteer work for me. I love to write and find it such a positive outlet. That is why I love Facebook. My family (not my immediate family), siblings, friends outside of Facebook and others in my life really don't understand the importance of Facebook to me. Everyone has a hobby or some call it an addiction that helps them get through with life and the everyday challenges (and successes) that we face. That is what Facebook is...a hobby. I should not be criticized for doing something that keeps me sane and allows me to share freely. I am NOT hurting anyone physically, emotionally or verbally. If I am...delete me. Otherwise, find some way to deal with my posts and move on as I have moved on after deleting and having been deleted.

I have kept this song, "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips, in my bookmarks online as a constant reminder that I am a good and decent human being who is doing the same as everyone else is..."surviving".



I am going to continue to be on Facebook and get back to being me - that happy, bubbly and vivacious person I once was when I first became a member of Facebook. I love people and that's THAT!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

"When one door closes, another one opens"


It certainly has been quite some time since my last entry here. So many things have been going on in my life. I have to say in the last few months a concept has truly resonated in my life and those around me. That concept is...

"when one door closes, another one opens".

Not only has my life been changing but so have many of my dear friends. The hardest thing to watch with my friends is the loss of a loved one... a husband/wife, son/daughter and etc. I have lost some loved ones over the last six months and it really makes you truly cherish what and who you have in your life. A day does NOT go by that I don't think about how lucky I am!

My dear husband, Damon, was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma, throat cancer in January of 2007. He had 7 weeks of radiation for three days a week. It was very hard for him to swallow as his throat had become constricted (not easily able to do so even now). He had lost quite a considerable amount of weight as he was not able to eat and swallow very much. He is still not able to eat WITHOUT having something to drink as his saliva is nearly all gone.

Over this past year, due to the economy, we do not have health insurance. Therefore, Damon had not had a routine checkup until recently...May 18th, 2010. We were able to finally have him be seen!. And, the fabulous news is that he received a clean bill of health! We are all truly blessed with this good news!

Also, with that wonderful news...I have had the good fortune to find work with a demo company, Warehouse Demo Services, doing sample demonstrations at Costco. When one door closes...that of Damon's situation with cancer, another door opened which has allowed for me to work so that I can now be a productive partner in our marriage. I felt compelled to find work through many urgings of family and friends whatever the outcome of Damon's checkup would have been. It has finally come to a point in my life to be realistic of our situation, financial and personal. I am happy NOW to be part of the support team for our family!

I am very glad that I was able to have the courage to go out and search! My mother taught me that IF you want something you have to go after it and think positive!

I had something in mind and did NOT tell anyone! I just did IT! So, I went into Costco to find work as a demo sampler. I have wanted to do that for sometime but did not have the courage nor really - the desire - to LOOK for work. But, something in my mind said, "Lien, it's time...so go forward with ALL you have and just SMILE!"

When I went to the back of the Costco warehouse in search of the office, I found the manager of the Warehouse Demo Services and applied. It was 2:00pm Tuesday afternoon.

Lisa gave me 15 minutes of her time and had already said she would have an answer by 5pm that evening! 6:00pm came and I got that call! I received the call from my (now) boss, Lisa, that she had spoken with her Regional Manager about her desire to hire me. She asked IF I could come into training on Thursday and it was only Tuesday! I was NOW officially hired! NOW..IF I could just figure out why?? LOL

For this door to have opened for me - I could not be happier! This "desperate housewife" of Shoreline is now gainfully employed and very happy in her new employment!

Sharing this story has been such a joy as I am writing this with a tremendous smile and a warm heart for everyone and everything in my grateful life. Without family and friends, I have no idea of where I would be...all I know is that I am loved and my love is returned to you all infinitely and unconditionally!

Whenever you lose a loved one or your heart is heavy, reach out and I will take your hand and hold onto it and...you - with my heart and devoted friendship to ... be there for you. ♥

Just open that door and I will be there...

Monday, March 8, 2010

My daily "grateful" list in my wonderful (and challenging)life...


As my birthday (in March) soon approaches I look at myself with how I have been so blessed with everything in my life.

Yes, we all have our ups and downs in life BUT there is always those who are less fortunate that you just can't afford to let the negatives in your life overtake the positive! Live life to the FULLEST! Know you are given an opportunity to live so take it...armed with a positive and spiritual desire!! You only live "once"!

This is what I shared with my mother, my biggest inspiration...


Hi Mom
-

I just wanted to share this with you that I have been posting on Facebook everyday. This was inspired by my friend, Dorrena. Hope you are having a good morning and continue throughout your day...

3/1/2010
. I am grateful for having wonderful friends and family for each and every journey I experience in my life. Thank you for your constant support.

3/2/2010. I am grateful for my inspiration to cook and bake: Mom! Thank you for giving me the guidance and knowledge you possess which were taught to you.

3/3/2010. I am grateful for having the "right tools" to handle anything that comes my way - within reason.

3/4/2010. I am grateful for Facebook - keeping up with my current, former and future friends has been wonderful.

3/5/2010. I am thankful to have all my 5 senses (touching, smelling, hearing, seeing and touching)...for today is a beautiful day having all of them to experience the day!

3/6/2010. I am VERY grateful to my mother, Betty Tisdale, who brought my sister and me to the United States in 1970 and giving us a wonderful and enriched life. She is my inspiration and mentor to live life on its own terms. Thank you, Mom! I love you!

3/7/2010. I am grateful for God.

3/8/2010. I am grateful for the ability to learn and grow in a positive and spiritual direction.

There you have it...my daily "grateful" things in my fortunate life!

Talk to you soon! I love you!

Love -

Lien :)
XOXOXO

Monday, March 1, 2010

"People Walking, People Talking" in the works...


It has been quite some time since I last wrote in here. I have renamed this blog to "People Walking, People Talking"...

I am so excited to tell you that I met some new friends, Dorrena Ortega and Sonya Reasor. We met through Facebook, a social networking site online. Dorrena introduced herself to me through the Facebook message board and said..."I see that you like to cook..." That was the beginning of our friendship. As time went on...I had the pleasure to meet a mutual friend of hers, Sonya Reasor whom she met through the wonderful Facebook. I have come to truly cherish our new friendships!

There are alot of naysayers who find that Facebook is a waste of time. However, I feel very differently as I would not have met these two wonderful ladies. They have introduced me to so many venues that I would never have known had I not met them ON Facebook. AND, finally when we met in person...what a truly wonderful and beautiful experience it has been and continues to be! Facebook is where I have seen so many friendships that have been discovered, nourished and re-newed. Life is very beautiful.


There are definite precautions when following through with meeting "new" people. This is where meeting in "public" places come into play. Dorrena and I met at Central Market, a very nice grocery market with a lovely eating area providing a secure setting. She even brought her daughter, Brianna, a very lovely teenage daughter. We had a very enjoyable visit getting to know each other. And, as time passes we continue "Facebooking" each other. Thus, a beautiful friendship has blossomed.

Then I met Dorrena's friend, Sonya Reasor, whom she met through Facebook as well. Dorrena started a Facebook page called, Shoreline, Wa Photowalker which gives Shoreline residents an opportunity to connect with each other through the wonderful world of photography in the serene beautiful settings throughout the Shoreline area. She also started another page called, Weekly Challenges which gives the Facebook fans and friends to challenge themselves with a weekly "ingredient" to work with in their dinner menus. A cooking challenge that is welcomed into any of your kitchens!. AND, then Dorrena started, yet another one, Dorrena Ortega and Mosaics. She shares the fun and inquisitive knowledge of working with mosaic creations.

I, myself, started two Facebook pages. Lien Titus...Shoreline's Desperate Housewife was created from my passion to bake and cook. This is a page where fans and friends get ideas, suggestions and input of all kinds of baking and cooking from each other. Then I post favorite pages from chefs, cooks, pastry chefs and etc. to share even further the joy of my passions. This is a great page for those who have a thirsty desire to, also, learn and share their successes and challenges.

Secret Shoreline is a page for the Shoreline residents, fans and friends who desire to share and receive any information about upcoming events (arts & entertainment), music venues, rants & raves and etc... that promotes the great wonders of everyday life of Shoreline, Washington!


I watch the growing number of fans of the numerous Facebook pages that we all have created. It all starts with people who thrive in building simple relationships into unique and beautiful friendships that come from the heart. IT takes just one person...you.

Take the time to enjoy each and every opportunity to share the wondrous quality of life by looking inside your heart...and sharing... :)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Quick correction...

My late mother-in-law's name was Shirlee Titus.

There needs to be more gratitude in life...




There is so much happening in my life and with everybody! I am guilty of not truly being grateful for what I have and complaining about WHAT I don't have. As I sit here in my kitchen nook, I look over to the right of me and see the most beautiful Christmas cactus plant that belonged to my late mother-in-law, Shirelee.

I am proud of the fact that this is one plant I have NOT "killed"! I am not a green thumb (which I gladly own up to here!) and for it to survive is a "MIRACLE"! I actually talk to it "lovingly" as if it were one of my own children. And, they would be rolling their eyes at me IF they saw this! And to see this plant to have blossomed "twice" in one season is a blessing and a true testament that there is a God up there giving me the "thumbs up" for my hard work!

I am posting a photo of this miraculous Christmas cactus plant to share the beauty and hope this plant brings me on a daily basis - even when the gorgeous blossoms die. There will be next year! Or if not, I was able to enjoy the blossoms that have grown this year!

It's late at night here. My daughter is asleep with a cold. My son is at a friend's overnight. And, my husband is working very hard to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table and getting bills paid as they come (faster and faster!). I cherish these quiet moments to reflect on the day and think about what tomorrow may hold for us.

Life is a constant learning lesson that will never end until our very last breath on this earth. ALL of my past experiences and current ones are what keep me wanting to write in this blog - sort of like a therapy "outlet", if you will. I feel at ease at this time of night. I got a fair amount of work done around here - there's always more...AND it will wait for me! It's not going anywhere! It will be here!!

I had dinner the other night with a dear friend from work at Einstein Middle School. Jennifer is a special ed teacher with just a HEART of GOLD! She is funny, smart and hilarious with a warm laughter. ONe never knows how to get to know another person WITHOUT "reaching" out. And this is what happened...I was fortunate to have this wonderful co-worker and friend reach out and want to get together! The power of "communication"!

Today, I visited with a very lovely friend, Dorrena and her beautiful daughter, Brianna at Central Market, a lovely place here in Shoreline, Washington. We just chatted about everything that we could get "jammed" in the hour or so we met up! AND, talking about people watching! Now, there is a people-watching place!

That's another passion I have...meeting new people! I cherish all my friends...new and old (not the age term!). I LOVE people. Everywhere you go- people watching is just simply THERE!! No escaping it! I love "people watching!

That's something to be grateful for in my life! Allowing people to touch my life (as I hope that I do in return) is the greatest gift to possess. I cannot IMAGINE being without family and friends. It would just be a non-existent life without love and support. I will be forever GRATEFUL to my family and friends!

The pains, challenges, successes and etc. that we have in our lives on a daily basis makes us the individuals that we are! No escaping THAT!

This is WHY I love my cooking and baking - when I put love and patience into my endeavors then the end result will be a beautiful result! And, if it doesn't turn out... THEN just do it AGAIN until right NOT perfect! Life is too beautiful and short - ENJOY everyone in your life and cherish them each and every day!

And, know that there is a Higher Power up there - your own understanding of one - guiding you through THIS life! I love each and EVERY ONE of you! :)

Enjoy the flowers out there and .... smell them!

With Blessings!

Lien :)