I am either going through a metamorphosis or in a real need to change my thinking and actions. I currently am a member of the social networking group called Facebook.
Facebook has been a blessing in disguise for me as I have been going through some things in my life where I find this social networking group my therapy. It is free of service but there is some pay involved and that is the reactions of some of my "friends" (people whom I thought were friends) and their domino effect that they have made on and in my life.
Overall, don't get me wrong, I love my friends on Facebook. It's just the few I have come across who are socially inept with their own feelings that they lashed out on me. Or, they have had a bad day. Or, the list is endless on how and WHY they say things to hurt me and I wonder...do they really understand the impact they have on me (or had on me)?? Is it okay that they do this?? I am not in their shoes therefore I cannot read their minds. We all have ways on how we are dealing with life. Some positive and some not. Who is to know why people say things to hurt others...??
I am a very social, bubbly and genuinely happy person who wants to share...and share ALOT. Perhaps I post too much on my Facebook wall. But, as the status on my wall asks, "What's on your mind?" then I tend to go to task and write out what's on my mind. Does that mean I need to be mindful of HOW much and WHAT I write?? Yes and no.
Yes, I should be allowed to write what's on my mind. But write quality, healthy and caring sharing. My sharing is upbeat, happy and resourceful fun that compels me to write in that manner. My true friends have enjoyed and still enjoy my posts that I share on a daily basis. These friends have shown true loyalty and are fierce to voice their opinions and feelings about how at times how badly I am treated by those who do not appreciate nor care about my posts.
No, not everyone is interested in seeing what I write every day - in and out. It can be overwhelming. However, there are several options given to each and every one of us on Facebook. One can skim over my posts and go onto the next person's posts. One can block my posts. One can share in a message telling me they don't like what I write (which several have done). Or simply delete me from their friend list.
Common sense is to to DELETE them. It is the most viable solution. But, it doesn't feel good to either be the one to delete or to be deleted. It has left me sick in my stomach as I have done this twice now. It hurts because I want to be liked by everyone. That is an unrealistic dream for me or anyone else in life and on Facebook OR anywhere one is. Yet, this still leaves me wondering WHY do people say hurtful things?
Writing is a true therapy in addition to cooking, baking and volunteer work for me. I love to write and find it such a positive outlet. That is why I love Facebook. My family (not my immediate family), siblings, friends outside of Facebook and others in my life really don't understand the importance of Facebook to me. Everyone has a hobby or some call it an addiction that helps them get through with life and the everyday challenges (and successes) that we face. That is what Facebook is...a hobby. I should not be criticized for doing something that keeps me sane and allows me to share freely. I am NOT hurting anyone physically, emotionally or verbally. If I am...delete me. Otherwise, find some way to deal with my posts and move on as I have moved on after deleting and having been deleted.
I have kept this song, "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips, in my bookmarks online as a constant reminder that I am a good and decent human being who is doing the same as everyone else is..."surviving".
I am going to continue to be on Facebook and get back to being me - that happy, bubbly and vivacious person I once was when I first became a member of Facebook. I love people and that's THAT!
