This has been a common theme in conversations lately. And, it truly has had me thinking about some events that has recently occurred in my life. I have been asking myself rhetorical questions over and over.
WHY are these things happening in my life...now? WHAT could I have done differently? WHEN will the pain go away? HOW is it that I can be so happy and the next be miserable?
This video, "People Come into Your Life for a Reason" conveys alot of helpful answers. BUT how we work through life wondering what meaning do people, places and events have in our lives is a question that apparently we all somehow have to find in some way, right or wrong; good or bad; happy or sad...to accomplish living our lives to the fullest.
No book, parental upbringing, religious influence (and etc.) can ever really prepare us to accept what life brings us on a day to day basis. It's called...LIFE. We need to use the tools that we were given growing up in whatever family, religious (or not) and other influences we had and still have to face all the challenges and successes we face.
Yes, people constantly come and go in our lives. There are people I wish I had not lost and in the past fought HARD to keep them. It has taken THIS long to realize that we cannot control people we lose even IF we feel we honestly were true to ourselves and them. What is our truth may not be another person's truth. Forcing friendships is not realistic nor pleasant. It is insufferable to both parties involved.
Currently, I feel I am losing a new best friend because of a friendship that overstepped the boundary. That is all I will say on that. What hurts is that this person, who does not live here in Seattle, helped me through a great deal of challenges, successes and lots of great laughter and our friendship has now shifted. We shared deep thoughts of life and became genuinely good friends...and eventually best friends. Outside influences has made it difficult to be the best friends we once were. I am missing my new best friend.
This is what they mean by that video song, "People Come into Our Lives for a Reason". My best friend came into my life when I faced very difficult challenges and was there for me when my husband could not. This friend filled a void that was missing in my life and marriage. I am not blaming my husband or anyone else for reaching outside my marriage. I could no longer hold my frustrations and hurt that was happening then. I, therefore, accepted this person's friendship when it was offered with good intentions of just friendship.
Yes, I have lots of friends but I was not able to go to them. This friendship was different...a very special and emotional one.
I will be taking this loss one day at a time as I accept it for a different value now. We are still friends...just not in the same as it was at the true beginning when our friendship began to blossom with open minds and honesty to sharing our lives as we saw it THEN. It is NOW different. AND...it hurts.
Life goes on here....time will heal my heart.
I do not regret this past friendship and how it blossomed but have found this to be a learning experience that this person did come into my life for a reason. I will cherish every moment that was shared. My husband is fully aware of this person in my life. There is no blame...the friendship happened. He is not thrilled nor over the moon about it. But knows this person will have a deep place in my heart no matter what happens from here on out.
We ALL have that kind of friend who is outside the marriage at one time or another...some know about the person and some don't know. IF you do not have a friend (outside the marriage)like the one I have described, well...then, you are very fortunate to have such a strong marriage that no one or no one thing can come between you two, I applaud you and respect you. Truthfully, I do.
For my friends who know me and for those who have yet to know, I communicate my feelings and thoughts through the words in music...music videos. I beginning to know that I do have friends who are (genuinely and truly) friends.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to me. Good night...until we meet again.
Love -
Lien xoxo
