It gets Better in Time and easier...

I am dedicating this entry to those who are struggling with their addiction during the holiday season.

Going into my 3rd year of sobriety, I am finding with time passing, indeed it gets easier to not want that drink. Lately, I have heard the topic of how does one get through the upcoming holiday season to be one that really affects a person who is new to sobriety.

My heart truly goes out not only the people who are new to sobriety but to those who are in constant battle with their addiction everyday...and truly struggling. Everyone has their way of dealing with their addiction. I touch on this today because I have had friends who are either themselves or know of someone facing this challenge during this holiday season and/or on a daily basis and have come to me for advice or need someone to listen...really listen.

I find this to be so therapeutic to be able to share how I have been able to stay strong in my journey of sobriety. This is not to say that my way of dealing with my addiction is the right way but it is my way. My addiction is alcohol. I have friends who are recovering alcoholics who will not agree and/or have grave concerns for my way of staying sober.

Everybody has their OWN recovery program...what works for me will not necessarily work for another recovering addict.

My first holiday season in sobriety was very hard and nerve wracking, to say the very least. My first encounter of how I was to deal with being around alcohol was at a family function at my mother's for Christmas. Alot of family members, both who live in state and those out of state, were there at Mom's. These family members are what we alcoholics call "normies" - folks who can drink and not have a problem with alcohol as we do.

IT was very hard to watch everyone (those who are not alcoholics) around me be so jovial, holding their alcoholic beverage with such social flair and just having a good ole time! I was really MAD and ANGRY that I couldn't join in on the fun...with the alcohol.

WHY can't I have JUST ONE glass of chardonnay (my choice of drug) like a 'normal' drinker? SO NOT FAIR(!) kept playing in my head. My jealousy reached its peak to the point that I had to remove myself from the house for a short time.

Instead of just going ahead with a drink in the house (as my mother makes it so readily available) or sneaking an alcoholic beverage out of the house, I actually used a tool that is taught in a program I am currently in now...to reach out to another alcoholic. I found myself talking to another alcoholic whose name I got off from a list of phone numbers of other female alcoholics (as part of the program it is strongly suggested to connect with the same sex). We spoke for a good hour or so.

Since then, I continue reaching out to other female alcoholics when I am in a compromising situation where my sobriety is challenged. I am thankful for that suggestion from my program.

Holidays are challenging enough and to add dealing with your addiction which can cause many undesired (and fatal)compromises. Trust me...finding solutions can be done! For someone who only had 61 days of sobriety at one time and am now going into my 3rd year of sobriety, this gal here is a living miracle that there is INDEED hope for those who question their sobriety.

Having a relapse or more...happens. I am not by any means encouraging that it is okay...it is not if you are trying to get sober. BUT, if it happens...YOU KNOW what to do. Call that friend or your sponsor, if you have one, right away and do whatever you normally do that has kept you sober before the relapse. Please DO NOT be ashamed of the relapse nor allow anyone to shame you...it is part of getting back into your sober program.

It truly has to start within yourself. YOU have to WANT to be sober. Admitting and accepting you have a problem with your addiction is the MOST IMPORTANT step to your humble beginning of sobriety.

I had to "hit rock bottom" to finally realize that I needed to get sober or die. There are various types of hitting rock bottom for addicts. The following is my hitting rock bottom...

The first is the DUI (driving while under the influence) I received in July 2009. The second is my medical test results which were devastating...I was very close to the cirrhosis of the liver which is ultimately - a death warrant. The third is my family. Without these three constant and realistic reminders to stay sober, I would be DEAD. No questions here.


There are holiday parties to attend, holiday advertisements on the TV, family events where alcohol is served. Unfortunately, there is no avoiding them...it is part of life. How one chooses to acknowledge the inevitable of alcohol being all around during this holiday season is the ultimate test for an alcoholic like me...and you, too.

There are several approaches to dealing with such circumstances during the holiday season full of family activities and/or work parties where alcohol is going to be served. My suggestion is to take your own preference of non-alcoholic beverage. OR drink non-alcoholic beverages that are served there at the event. My all time favorite is the Shirley Temple drink! I bring the ingredients with me...Ginger ale and a jar of cherries (with the cherry juice still in it). Simple and easy.

Be sure to have a list of names of other alcoholics with you or call your best friend/family member/other friends who know you are a recovering alcoholic. Surrounding yourself with sober friends is important or friends ('normies') WHO are supportive in your recovery program. Please reach out...that phone is NOT as heavy as you think or want to believe. You can DO IT! IF I CAN...so can YOU!

Don't over think the upcoming event as your addict mind will play horrible games and evil thoughts to get you to succumb to your addiction. So, use all positive tools and supportive friends to get you through this.

As your last resort to your dilemma...DON'T go to the function at all. Another simple and easy solution.

The MOST important reminder for those who are new to sobriety and to those struggling everyday is to please just believe in yourself. AND in time, it is not so much of a struggle, it will be more like saying that you have FINALLY ARRIVED in your sobriety.

I close with this song, "Better in Time" (Leona Lewis) that I play alot when I feel that my sobriety is in doubt.

I have, also, dedicated it to my addiction...alcohol.

This song just uplifts me, encourages me and reminds me constantly that...it gets better in time and easier!



"Better in Time" Lyrics:

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

______________________________________________

Happy Holidays...be safe, happy and sober.

Choose sobriety, don't let your addiction choose you.


I love you all from the bottom of my heart.