It gets Better in Time and easier...

I am dedicating this entry to those who are struggling with their addiction during the holiday season.

Going into my 3rd year of sobriety, I am finding with time passing, indeed it gets easier to not want that drink. Lately, I have heard the topic of how does one get through the upcoming holiday season to be one that really affects a person who is new to sobriety.

My heart truly goes out not only the people who are new to sobriety but to those who are in constant battle with their addiction everyday...and truly struggling. Everyone has their way of dealing with their addiction. I touch on this today because I have had friends who are either themselves or know of someone facing this challenge during this holiday season and/or on a daily basis and have come to me for advice or need someone to listen...really listen.

I find this to be so therapeutic to be able to share how I have been able to stay strong in my journey of sobriety. This is not to say that my way of dealing with my addiction is the right way but it is my way. My addiction is alcohol. I have friends who are recovering alcoholics who will not agree and/or have grave concerns for my way of staying sober.

Everybody has their OWN recovery program...what works for me will not necessarily work for another recovering addict.

My first holiday season in sobriety was very hard and nerve wracking, to say the very least. My first encounter of how I was to deal with being around alcohol was at a family function at my mother's for Christmas. Alot of family members, both who live in state and those out of state, were there at Mom's. These family members are what we alcoholics call "normies" - folks who can drink and not have a problem with alcohol as we do.

IT was very hard to watch everyone (those who are not alcoholics) around me be so jovial, holding their alcoholic beverage with such social flair and just having a good ole time! I was really MAD and ANGRY that I couldn't join in on the fun...with the alcohol.

WHY can't I have JUST ONE glass of chardonnay (my choice of drug) like a 'normal' drinker? SO NOT FAIR(!) kept playing in my head. My jealousy reached its peak to the point that I had to remove myself from the house for a short time.

Instead of just going ahead with a drink in the house (as my mother makes it so readily available) or sneaking an alcoholic beverage out of the house, I actually used a tool that is taught in a program I am currently in now...to reach out to another alcoholic. I found myself talking to another alcoholic whose name I got off from a list of phone numbers of other female alcoholics (as part of the program it is strongly suggested to connect with the same sex). We spoke for a good hour or so.

Since then, I continue reaching out to other female alcoholics when I am in a compromising situation where my sobriety is challenged. I am thankful for that suggestion from my program.

Holidays are challenging enough and to add dealing with your addiction which can cause many undesired (and fatal)compromises. Trust me...finding solutions can be done! For someone who only had 61 days of sobriety at one time and am now going into my 3rd year of sobriety, this gal here is a living miracle that there is INDEED hope for those who question their sobriety.

Having a relapse or more...happens. I am not by any means encouraging that it is okay...it is not if you are trying to get sober. BUT, if it happens...YOU KNOW what to do. Call that friend or your sponsor, if you have one, right away and do whatever you normally do that has kept you sober before the relapse. Please DO NOT be ashamed of the relapse nor allow anyone to shame you...it is part of getting back into your sober program.

It truly has to start within yourself. YOU have to WANT to be sober. Admitting and accepting you have a problem with your addiction is the MOST IMPORTANT step to your humble beginning of sobriety.

I had to "hit rock bottom" to finally realize that I needed to get sober or die. There are various types of hitting rock bottom for addicts. The following is my hitting rock bottom...

The first is the DUI (driving while under the influence) I received in July 2009. The second is my medical test results which were devastating...I was very close to the cirrhosis of the liver which is ultimately - a death warrant. The third is my family. Without these three constant and realistic reminders to stay sober, I would be DEAD. No questions here.


There are holiday parties to attend, holiday advertisements on the TV, family events where alcohol is served. Unfortunately, there is no avoiding them...it is part of life. How one chooses to acknowledge the inevitable of alcohol being all around during this holiday season is the ultimate test for an alcoholic like me...and you, too.

There are several approaches to dealing with such circumstances during the holiday season full of family activities and/or work parties where alcohol is going to be served. My suggestion is to take your own preference of non-alcoholic beverage. OR drink non-alcoholic beverages that are served there at the event. My all time favorite is the Shirley Temple drink! I bring the ingredients with me...Ginger ale and a jar of cherries (with the cherry juice still in it). Simple and easy.

Be sure to have a list of names of other alcoholics with you or call your best friend/family member/other friends who know you are a recovering alcoholic. Surrounding yourself with sober friends is important or friends ('normies') WHO are supportive in your recovery program. Please reach out...that phone is NOT as heavy as you think or want to believe. You can DO IT! IF I CAN...so can YOU!

Don't over think the upcoming event as your addict mind will play horrible games and evil thoughts to get you to succumb to your addiction. So, use all positive tools and supportive friends to get you through this.

As your last resort to your dilemma...DON'T go to the function at all. Another simple and easy solution.

The MOST important reminder for those who are new to sobriety and to those struggling everyday is to please just believe in yourself. AND in time, it is not so much of a struggle, it will be more like saying that you have FINALLY ARRIVED in your sobriety.

I close with this song, "Better in Time" (Leona Lewis) that I play alot when I feel that my sobriety is in doubt.

I have, also, dedicated it to my addiction...alcohol.

This song just uplifts me, encourages me and reminds me constantly that...it gets better in time and easier!



"Better in Time" Lyrics:

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will


Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

______________________________________________

Happy Holidays...be safe, happy and sober.

Choose sobriety, don't let your addiction choose you.


I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

Moving forward...

I have no excuse to let so much time lapse once again without writing here. It's not that I don't want to write, I just get scared of what I do want to write and worry that I will scare you off, hopefully I don't. I can't worry because I want to do what I love to do...share my thoughts and feelings with you.

Let's get writing, Liennie!!

Alot of wonderful things have happened and I have NO idea of where to begin.

I know I cannot change the past, the damage and hurt that I have caused my family and friends during my drinking days. BUT...ALL I know is that NOW I want to make a positive difference and move forward from my past.

I feel really blessed to have this sobriety as new and former friendships have been growing into beautiful and loving relationships over time. AND IT feels fantastic!! I never thought that I would or could maintain friendships. I KNOW I have got to stop blaming that on my drinking. I need to move on and enjoy my present...another chance of a new and wonderful life.

What has helped me to move forward is truly learning to accept who I am and to work with my positive attributes rather than focus on my character flaws. There are several Facebook positive pages that I am proud to be a member. Positive Outlooks is one of my favorite pages. Here is a quote that is near and dear to me from that page...




"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you." - Lao Tzu

I am learning to be a good listener and only offer kind words, comforting words, compassionate words and other positive words when asked or when it feels comfortable to offer. My heart is finally in the right place. My inner peace can now lend a hand to those who reach out for me to hold. I am finally realizing that it is ME who can take control of my actions and reactions in MY life. I cannot have expectations of anyone...that is unrealistic and unfair. With expectations, we only get hurt if those expectations are not met. We are all human and we make mistakes.

When you learn from your mistakes, you are making strides to better your life. I know I have and continue to do so on a daily basis...to better my life. With all the wonderful and positive friends and family in my life now...I am very appreciative to have the freedom and the positive re-enforcement to move forward and let the past be where it should be...in the past.

You all have made it possible for me to be able to share and write again...from the bottom of my heart and with a new positive outlook on life that I embrace with your beautiful love and kind support.

I am closing with one of my ALL time favorite singers, Dean Martin, singing "Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime"...that is HOW I feel about my family and friends. This version just makes me smile like you all do for me!



Thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart and soul. Until we meet again... xoxo

Where has the time gone...?

I'm BAAACK! AND I feel like a butterfly...flying with colorful wings and soaring into new heights!





Wow...I am sitting here and excited to finally get back to writing. It has been a long few months of not writing. To be honest, I have not wanted to write as I had NO idea what I was going to write and how I was going to address why I have not been writing here. It is because I have been given quite a few blows and challenges recently which I have worked on overcoming in these last few months. This explains why I have been really down.

So, I have no idea where to start but here goes...!

Writing is something that has been severely missing in my life and am really glad to be back! I have been writing in a notebook but it is NOT the same as putting it into my blog here. Writing is absolutely great therapy for me and just so relaxing.

I am coming up to 2 years of sobriety on October 6th, 2011 and feeling fantastic about it. Had you talked to me last week, you would not have seen this enthusiastic attitude you are witnessing. It is a TRUE miracle that I have come this far in my sobriety as the most number of sober days I had was...61 days.

I am still in awe and proud of how far I have come. This could not be happening without the support and love from alot of my really good friends, my mother, Damon (my husband), my children and a couple of my siblings.

These last two years have been quite a struggle. And yet, at the same time a wonderful personal growth has blossomed. I am grateful to have the positive support team that I have surrounded myself with on a daily basis. Whether it is attending recovery meetings, talking on the phone, chatting with friends on the internet (Facebook primarily and Google chat - they are free for both national and international connections) or e-mail. Oh and, yes...more importantly...face to face contact, of course!

I am choosing not to focus on the difficult months I experienced as I want to live in the here and now. I attend personal (and intense) therapy to work through those times. IT is very hard to share such emotions as they were running high (and still are) at times and was a negative affect on my close friends and family. BUT, my therapist, whom I have been seeing on a weekly basis, has truly been very instrumental in helping me to get through this time and providing me with tools to stay focused in a positive way. I am ever so grateful to my therapist even at times when I wanted to walk away from our therapy sessions many times over.

This song, "You Gotta Be" by Des'ree holds a special place in my heart (as many songs I share here on this blog). I think of this song each time I am feeling overwhelmed...



There is a strange but wonderful feeling that I am experiencing right now. I feel so at home on this blog...I can write what I feel and share my life here without any restrictions or barriers being put up. I am at ease.

All those challenges in the last few months seem like ages ago...yet the reminders are still with me. We are all human. We say and do things that makes one wonder..."Why did I just say or do that?" or "Was that really necessary, Lien?" Taking inventory of one's life is important. Therefore, I strive to achieve to have a healthy, positive and productive life. SO, these reminders I mentioned earlier...encourages me to re-evaluate myself and try to think of ways to get out of the negative mind frame and move into a self-empowering direction, instead.

IF I don't constantly do this and not do it on a daily basis then TRULY, I will become complacent and will drink again. That is what happened when I didn't have the self worth and positive outlook on life...it lead me back to drinking. AND I do not want to go back to where I was. Or else, I will physically die...health wise.

My motto on a daily basis is to live life "one day at a time".

Embrace life; choose wisely; live wisely and give wisely...of yourself.

I am in a very happy and positive place. AND it is because I have wonderful people in my life who remind me that I am worth living and breathing. Ahhh....life and love.

Here's another song, "Reach for the Stars" by S Club 7, that resonates such positiveness in my life now. A great upbeat song that you just can't help but tap your feet while reading this and just SMILE! :-)



Thank you for reading this entry. Love and smiles from me...Lien :-)

Each and every person has a reason for being in our lives...

This has been a common theme in conversations lately. And, it truly has had me thinking about some events that has recently occurred in my life. I have been asking myself rhetorical questions over and over.

WHY are these things happening in my life...now? WHAT could I have done differently? WHEN will the pain go away? HOW is it that I can be so happy and the next be miserable?

This video, "People Come into Your Life for a Reason" conveys alot of helpful answers. BUT how we work through life wondering what meaning do people, places and events have in our lives is a question that apparently we all somehow have to find in some way, right or wrong; good or bad; happy or sad...to accomplish living our lives to the fullest.



No book, parental upbringing, religious influence (and etc.) can ever really prepare us to accept what life brings us on a day to day basis. It's called...LIFE. We need to use the tools that we were given growing up in whatever family, religious (or not) and other influences we had and still have to face all the challenges and successes we face.

Yes, people constantly come and go in our lives. There are people I wish I had not lost and in the past fought HARD to keep them. It has taken THIS long to realize that we cannot control people we lose even IF we feel we honestly were true to ourselves and them. What is our truth may not be another person's truth. Forcing friendships is not realistic nor pleasant. It is insufferable to both parties involved.

Currently, I feel I am losing a new best friend because of a friendship that overstepped the boundary. That is all I will say on that. What hurts is that this person, who does not live here in Seattle, helped me through a great deal of challenges, successes and lots of great laughter and our friendship has now shifted. We shared deep thoughts of life and became genuinely good friends...and eventually best friends. Outside influences has made it difficult to be the best friends we once were. I am missing my new best friend.

This is what they mean by that video song, "People Come into Our Lives for a Reason". My best friend came into my life when I faced very difficult challenges and was there for me when my husband could not. This friend filled a void that was missing in my life and marriage. I am not blaming my husband or anyone else for reaching outside my marriage. I could no longer hold my frustrations and hurt that was happening then. I, therefore, accepted this person's friendship when it was offered with good intentions of just friendship.

Yes, I have lots of friends but I was not able to go to them. This friendship was different...a very special and emotional one.

I will be taking this loss one day at a time as I accept it for a different value now. We are still friends...just not in the same as it was at the true beginning when our friendship began to blossom with open minds and honesty to sharing our lives as we saw it THEN. It is NOW different. AND...it hurts.

Life goes on here....time will heal my heart.

I do not regret this past friendship and how it blossomed but have found this to be a learning experience that this person did come into my life for a reason. I will cherish every moment that was shared. My husband is fully aware of this person in my life. There is no blame...the friendship happened. He is not thrilled nor over the moon about it. But knows this person will have a deep place in my heart no matter what happens from here on out.

We ALL have that kind of friend who is outside the marriage at one time or another...some know about the person and some don't know. IF you do not have a friend (outside the marriage)like the one I have described, well...then, you are very fortunate to have such a strong marriage that no one or no one thing can come between you two, I applaud you and respect you. Truthfully, I do.

For my friends who know me and for those who have yet to know, I communicate my feelings and thoughts through the words in music...music videos. I beginning to know that I do have friends who are (genuinely and truly) friends.



Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to me. Good night...until we meet again.

Love -

Lien xoxo

Simply sharing POSITIVE thoughts, feelings and advice...

6 months ago, I created a wonderful Facebook page, "Simply sharing POSITIVE thoughts, feelings and advice", which is a safe place where we, women only, can share whatever is truly on our minds, receive positive feed back and helpful insights without judgment nor negativity.

In doing so, we share many of our positive thoughts, feelings, advice and pertinent quotes/sayings/stories. I explain to the women on the page that we are beautiful inside and out. There is absolutely NO judgment.

And, we are there for each other.

I have been asked by many why did I start this page? In all honesty, it was what I was seeing in my newsfeed on my Facebook. As I have mentioned before Facebook has kept me sane and alive. I needed a place where I could freely express myself and be heard or maybe not. But it is MY wall in which I have control over in one or a few parts of my life. I can write whatever is on my mind. In other areas of my life, I am powerless of what will happen in my future...I can only resolve that THIS is the place where I can feel liberated and happy!

I began noticing that there were alot of my female friends and friends of friends who were either posting or commenting very sad stories of their lives...breakups, family conflicts (spouses, mothers/fathers, sisters/brothers, daughters/sons, work related woes, BFF-best friends forever- relationships and etc.) the ups and downs of all areas of LIFE and etc. I, too, was going through alot of painful challenges and growing. AND, it seemed that the frustrations and anger were building and increasing over time.

I thought to myself, "Why not start a page where women could truly express themselves and NOT feel judged or scorned?" I only looked at one other page on Facebook to this similar idea I had in mind and decided that I would start one with just my circle of friends. This is one of those situations where you wonder, "Why didn't I start this sooner?"

Ahh a ~ sweet ~ sigh I'm letting out here.

I am amazed, impressed and in awe of the beautiful women who have come to join together in such a way that I am truly blessed to witness such wonderful bonding and trust being established. The open-mindedness, the honesty, the respect for one another is nothing I had seen nor experienced in my life...and this is all online on Facebook. Sigh, yes...online.

We have all come together finding such a warm and wonderful place of comfort. It has a sorority feel to it...a sisterhood of spirituality has formulated here. We all feel so blessed to have found each other through this group of empowering and beautiful women through and through. It started with just my circle of friends and then somehow grew from outside interests looking...more like peeking in here! I had no idea how the dynamics of this group was going to change so quickly.

The interaction is lively, upbeat, refreshing and most of all down to earth! At first when I saw the group growing I was really nervous...it was like having a whole new classroom of freshman starting in high school. I didn't realize that I had the settings on the group page to allow everyone (the current members) add whomever they felt like inviting. So, all these personalities overwhelmed me. Now I have it set for the administrators - that being me and another designated administrator - who are the only two to be able to accept "to be added to the group" requests.

Now, I feel there is a sense of keeping the group at peace and in harmony.

Each day I wake up I so enjoy seeing the activities that have occurred while asleep. That is the fun of this page as we have a group of ladies from England and Hungary with the time difference being 8 hours. Then there are members on the East Coast with 3 hours difference. And then there is the West Coast group! So there is constant flurry of sharing, laughter, tears of both joy and some sadness ( a reality of life), issues discussed and just a array of conversations passed between each other.

It's simply and positively pure magic!

THIS is the group of friends that I hold so dear to me. I feel I have a better sense of purpose- as a friend so kindly pointed to me that I LOVE people, especially the special women here, and am a TRUE friend. My positive attributes that I possess are listening intently with great focus; sharing with honesty and open mindedness; to be humble when listening and advising from the heart; to love unconditionally and most of all showing integrity with compassion.

When I look at the fantastic personalities that have come into this group, I see all of these women with such natural beauty both inside and out. To me, not only do they have a heart of gold each...they are ALL simply and positively "Beautiful in My Eyes"...




Each beautiful lady in this group knows how I deeply think about them AND feel for them...we are positively united and empowered.

I will leave you on this note with a great BIG grin...

One of my members posted this on our wall and it resonates how this group feels for each other; our perspective on how we see our lives that have been changing in a positive way; increasing our self-esteem; lowering our expectations; reveling in great strides of self love and loving life!



May you all find a group of friends who can share such a beautiful and mutual respect for one another with such wonderful compassion as we are experiencing here.

NOTE: Men...you would benefit being a part of a men's only positive thinking group! ;-)

Everyday is actually Mother's Day for me...

Note: I've posted this on my Facebook wall but am adding more for my blog here.


Happy Mother's Day!


Last night, as I was watching my mother look at my "homemade" Mother's Day card, I had to hold back my tears of happiness as we were with my daughter, Amanda and her boyfriend.


Everyday is truly Mother's Day for me...

My mother has been there for me through thick and thin in my 41 years I have been here in the United States. I owe her everything and more. The last ten(+)years have been a true testament of her faith and belief in me to get my life straightened out. I could not have done it without her, and of course the rest of my family and friends - included!

I have had the best support team and as I write this I am full of tears and joy to be blessed with Mom and ALL OF YOU in my life!

She has been my rock even when I treated her badly. That's what mothers are for, I've been told. Those times are no longer...thank GOODNESS!

She taught me so much...baking (my greatest passion!); encouraging me to write (another great passion!); volunteering for her HALO humanitarian cause - working with the special needs children - in the school library and etc. (yet, ANOTHER great passion); being a true friend by listening; to love life and people from the bottom of my heart; to be true to myself - not letting others have a negative effect in my life; to know that I am INDEED a good person...mother, wife, sister, aunt and etc.

Most of all...Mom has given me...HER unconditional love. AND, the true meaning of living and to respect it.


You only live once so live it to the fullest.


So, when I recently removed all the drama and chaos that I allowed in my life, it really came to me that I can now truly begin to live. I can breathe. I can see. I can hear. I can talk. ALL this I can do clearly and with a clean conscience. The things I do NOW is done with an open mind, honesty and with gratitude. Thank you, Mom, for showing me this.

Thank you Mom for everyday I live...I get to have another chance of living with you along my side cheering me on here.

This is the song you remembered us as little girls singing in the back of the car...IT was really me who started this singing as I was in the Brookstone School choir with Mrs. Summerall. Wink!



Mom, "You Light Up My Life"...everyday through the good times and the challenging times...always.


I, also, thank you...Amanda and Jack for being here for me and allowing me to be a better Mom...growing in love with you all over again - stronger and healthier.

Everyday is INDEED a Mother's Day for me.

AND...thank you again, Mom, for being my mother and best friend.

I love you always and forever, Mom. From my heart to your heart.

A Time for Reflecting...

As I sit here at my desk on the computer, I hear and watch the rain quietly falling against my window. The photo of my office space off from the kitchen up above looking out was taken when it was snowing.

This is my time for reflecting...of how much stronger and more determined I am NOW to getting back my life. I had something that has forever affected my life 18 months ago. What it was is not important to share here BUT the dire consequences and impact it had on my life is immeasurable to my inner growth and spirit to live rather than die.

My health deteriorated into near death, my mental state was questionable and my judgment was clouded. I couldn't function. At that time, I did NOT want to function. I really didn't want to live. I asked myself alot of questions and beginning with this one...WHY? Why do I want to live?? Who cares? I just screw up left and right. No one should care about me as they all have their own problems to take notice.

I didn't eat. Well, I did eat but very minimal amounts. In fact, I remember from my childhood, I detested eating. It wasn't because I wanted to be skinny. I simply did NOT want to eat. Even to this day, IF I didn't have to eat I wouldn't. Yes, THAT is the truth. I eat to appease those who love me even now. I still don't like to eat.

It's strange to hear this from a person who relishes in cooking and baking. Strange, right? Yes, IT IS. I cannot pinpoint when this came about in my life. I just dislike food. There. I have said it and am sharing this.

So, when I was going through what I went previous to these past 18 months, eating food was a HUGE struggle. It got to the point where I weighed 80 pounds standing at 4'10 1/". Yes, this was alarming to others around me and especially to myself. I was all bones...disgustingly skeletal...very scary to even look at without a doubt.

I gave up on myself. I lost self-respect. I lost hope. I felt I had nothing at this point in my life. I felt very sorry for myself. I this. I that. I (me)...that's all I was thinking about then.

When my health deteriorated to the point that death was just around the corner, I came to a realization that I was being VERY being selfish.

On October 6th, 2009, I lay in bed with just a cup of water by my bedside wondering WHAT the hell was I thinking. WHO the hell was I to be doing this to my family - wonderful Amanda and Jack, my husband, Damon, my mother, my siblings - AND my dear friends?? I couldn't get out of bed for my weightless body could barely move.

I am NOT a religious person at all....and goodness knows I am surprised that I still am not now. But, that is another entry for a later time. Anyway, I laid there in bed and DID say to my Higher Power..."IF YOU will give me a sign that directs me to the will to live, show it to me, please?".

In all honesty, there was NO sign. If there was and is, I suspect that having memories flash before me would have been one NOT the sign. I decided RIGHT there and then to live.

I WANTED TO LIVE.

I asked Damon, my mother, family and friends for help in a way I never asked before. THIS time it was genuine. I really wanted to get better...health wise and mental wise.

As I was getting better, my attitude became more positive NOT completely but it was getting there. Growing up is never easy...we are constantly growing until the day we die. At least that is how I see it and feel it now.

In the past I hid behind humor that really wasn't funny. It was MORE like sarcasm than it was humor. IT was not appreciated nor welcomed...and rightly so. Sarcasm, lack of respect of my friends feelings and thoughts, lack of judgment calls and etc...lost me valuable friendships. I have since continued to constantly learn to do the opposite.

In fact, my recent bout of pneumonia last month (February) which had me on bed rest gave me this time to truly reflect on my life. Being selfish was the foremost on my mind. I was NOT being genuine. If it took to being sick to come to this realization about myself then I am glad I was sick for those first 3 weeks in February with the pneumonia.

For the last 9 months I worked at our local Shoreline (Washington - USA) Costco as a demo sampler.



It was a great job for the interim of my personal time off from my job with the Shoreline School District as a substitute paraeducator working with the special needs children. This experience gave me an insight of what it takes to work with the general public. I worked at Nordstrom a long time ago and though...wow(!) that was hard BUT this brought my confidence level with the public to a whole new level.

The stresses of what people are going through nowawdays is enough to marvel how most of us are able to survive. I was amazed to see the dynamics of the members and us, the demo samplers. Again, that will be another fun entry at a later time.

My hat is off to those who endure the ups and downs with the general public. I have never had to SMILE so much in my life and you all KNOW how I love to smile. Smiling here...truly! I wish my former co-workers and boss all the best and thank them tremendously for the wonderful experience I had when I was working at Costco there. I will cherish every moment I had there NOT a one goes without my thanks.

It was hard to decide to move on to a newer path in my life. I LOVED my job, my boss, my co-workers and of course, the Costco members (the lovely ones AND the not so lovely ones). BUT, it was time for me to focus on what I want to achieve the rest of my life...and being at this was no longer a part of this change. I will forever grateful for the opportunity I had.

I want to give back to the community what I have been given...a LIFE. And want to help those who need or want to be shown that life is worth living. IF I can survive a life threatening situation and come out of it a BETTER person, so can you. Just believe in yourself...YOU HAVE TO in order to survive.

Having been adopted by my parents here in the United States in March 1970, I have truly been blessed with all that has been given to me that I, otherwise, would NOT have had I been left at the orphanage, An Lac, in Saigon, Vietnam.

As I leave you here until I write again, this is the basis of my book I am writing...giving thanks for the life I have been given as I see "people walking, people talking". I nearly lost my life because of my dire situation I was living and am ALIVE to share what I experienced and how I am overcoming the consequences and impact of the direct selfishness and lack of respect for others in my life. AND, I want share more than what I have shared here...this is a continuation of my life as it is in the present. AND with the wonderful moral, caring and loving support team that I have now...I can do this sharing with you.

I am here NOW. I am LIVING. I love LIFE. I love you ALL.

I have a saying that I have chosen to use for my signing off here each time I leave you.

Have a terrific day...most of the day if you can...everyday! :)

Thank you, Mrs. Gwen Hart, my Fifth Grade English teacher...for my passion to write.

I know that it has been awhile since my last entry. The last one was an emotional one that words cannot express how deeply I felt and was affected. I could not write after that entry. Now I am able to return to writing.

Thank you for waiting. Many friends and family have encouraged me to get back to writing. SO here goes...



As I sit here on my computer in my kitchen/office listening to my favorite music, I find this quiet time here at the house an excellent opportunity to write without any interruptions. Therefore, I am here to try and write all that I am feeling and thinking...to my heart's delight.

So, please make some time to read this. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, tea or other favorite beverage and enjoy ...!

When I write, it is from my heart as I have been told. I am beginning to see and believe it. I feel that there is no "right" style here in my blog. IT is MY personal blog for me to share what it is I want. AND, what I want to share is laughter, smiles, my joys, my sadness, my desires, my challenges...whatever my heart feels...it wants to truly share.

First, I want to share HOW it is that I came to love to write. It was my Fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Gwen Hart from Brookstone School in Columbus, Georgia. Mrs. Hart took me under her wings to teach me that writing is the powerful key to communication. If it is success you want in life, writing is one of the many paths to take.

I, also, want to say a big thank you to my mother, Betty Tisdale. She has made a copy of each and every e-mail she has received from me. And, as she has read each one of them, she has told me that it would make for a great book. There in lies the inspiration to my writing this blog and my book. A BIG heartfelt thank you, Mom! You truly have inspired me as well!

A wonderful sigh here...I will never forget what Mrs. Hart said to me.

"Don't HOLD back, Lien...share what you feel and are thinking. People will want to hear what you have to say. Your yearning to learn and to share are ultimate gifts you possess. Lien, just keep writing and let the words come out. Everything will come together in sentences, then into paragraphs, then into chapters and then so forth. It will all flow into something...a book, who knows?"

Those are the words she shared (in her fabulous Southern drawl) with me long ago yet feels like it was just yesterday. Writing has always been a passion of mine more so than ever. Writing a book back then never entered my mind. It has been through the urging of my family and friends as of late that I finally decided to start with this blog being the foundation of ultimately writing my book.

It took one person as I was growing up in Columbus to make a difference in my life, Mrs. Hart. There were so many times that I felt inadequate in some of the ways I tried to communicate with people and on paper because deep inside I kept thinking that English was my second language and would not be able to master it. Mrs. Hart's passion and desire to help me (and/or anyone in my class) to succeed in writing , spelling and grammar made that huge difference with my outlook in my own life.

I remember those afternoons after school with Mrs. Hart. All day during the school day I kept my excitement of getting the one on one lessons with Mrs. Hart. No interruptions...just us. Albeit, there were a few occasions that was not the case. Mrs. Hart was so patient with me which gave me more determination to show her the same respect by truly learning English - writing and speaking correctly. I listened to her. I did the extra homework that was given to me in addition to the regular homework she gave in class. Later in my life I am learning that you need to really work at it as you are indeed worth it!

I was DETERMINED to succeed in writing! And, I wanted to finally have something in my life that meant something dear to me...writing!

English is a HARD language. I still don't get alot of it but I am able to use resources that was not available to me back then such as "Googling". Back then, we used a book called, The Webster's Dictionary for spelling and grammar. NOT sure how often it is used as we now have online spelling check and places for grammar. I am wondering as I write this IF Mrs. Hart uses the online spell check like the rest of us? I bet she does! Wink!

I do not wish to bore you with all the details of the dangling sentences, NOT ending sentences with a preposition, using the correct verbiage and ETC.! It's from the heart that is the basis in writing which is what I am conveying here.

The passion I put into my writing I feel Mrs. Hart sitting next to me here as if she were my cheerleader waiting for the quarterback to throw that touchdown!

It took one person, as I was growing up in Columbus, to make a difference in my life. It was my Fifth Grade teacher, Mrs. Gwen Hart, who inspired me to do something I thought I could never do with English being my second language.

I had someone who believed in ME and valued ME as a person. SO, please never underestimate yourself because someone out there believes in YOU. And with this being all said I will leave you with this song, "Teachers Make A Difference" because Mrs. Gwen Hart did that for me.





This is a heartfelt thank you to ALL the teachers who have made a difference in our lives and for those who continue to make a difference now.

It is heartbreaking to see the successes of teaching being clouded by the struggles and challenges of budget cuts and other means that are undermining the strength of each teacher who IS trying to make a difference.

I would NOT be writing this had it not been for this teacher who believed in me. So, truly from my heart...THANK YOU to ALL the teachers...who make a DIFFERENCE.

AND, thank you , Mrs. Gwen Hart...I would not be here writing without your presence in my life then!

Embracing 2011 with a Newer Insight and Perspective of My Own Life

Happy New Year!


2010 was a very challenging and yet rewarding year at the same time.

I am, therefore, embracing 2011 with a newer insight and perspective to help me to grow into a better person as whole not broken...AND have a healthier attitude towards life.

The values I now put in my life has definitely helped me to grow this past year and build character that I did not realize was lacking. "I wouldn't trade it for anything" concept here rings true to me.

Each and every person who has come into my life, past and current friends and for those in the future, I truly cherish and honor them as they are intricate parts of my enriched life that I am currently living and experiencing wholeheartedly.

I am sending warm wishes of a beautiful New Year to all of my family and friends. Let us all experience the joys of constant bonding and friendships of everlasting love and continued respect for one another.

I love each and everyone of you with ALL my heart.

“To live you have to experiment, to have the ability to experiment you have to have confidence, to have confidence you have to be loved, to be loved you have to love” - unknown