April 22nd, 2021

(Seeing the beautiful Moon made my night here before I retire for the evening!)

  I had so much to share tonight but am finding it hard to do it due to a change in the pain medication. Please be patient and bear with me as I try to write as much as I can before falling asleep here at my computer.

  The radiologist and oncologist have put me on a much stronger pain medication that is starting to take effect on me in the last half hour. We have switched from liquid pain medication to patches that lasts 72 hours between changes of the old patch and replacing it with a new one. There are 5 patches. And if this one doesn't work, we will try another pain medication until we get the pain under better management. This has been so frustrating as I don't want the insurance company to think I am a 'drug addict'. Dr. Marzbani and his team have been so wonderful, supportive and understanding. And they have been in constant contact with my insurance company which I know is their job. But, knowing they are looking out for my health and sanity makes feel good.

  Tomorrow is the day of going into Radiology to get fitted for the accuracy of where the radiation will be placed during each session. My biggest worry is staying absolutely still during this procedure. I cannot screw up by making any move. This is the biggest reason for the change in pain medication. In order to stay still and not experience excruciating pain laying straight on my back, this medication was carefully chosen to make sure that the strength and endurance of the medication helps me throughout the entire 30 minutes of laying on my back. Timing and accuracy were key to making this a successful procedure tomorrow. 

  My hat is off to everyone on Dr. Marzbani's team! Thank you all so much!

  It is absolutely great to have my daughter here to help me with certain things I cannot do until after Chemo and Radiation. Rest has been on HIGH on the list which is NOT easy for me. Thank God for Amanda! Her endless smiles, hugs, comforting words and just knowing she is in the other room while I rest in my bedroom.

  As many who know me, being cared for is not easy for me to accept. I have to say that I am getting better at accepting AND asking for help. I try to not ask for help too much. I am one lucky mama here!

  Amanda made a lovely dinner but sadly I was not able to eat it. But, dang, her dinner smelled SOOOOO GOOD! It was a stuffing, chicken and vegetable casserole dish. I broke down in tears and just let the tears flow. Amanda has become such a wonderful cook! Will try it another time. 

  Ugh. I need to go as the medicine is making me nauseous. I did get some flower photos while I was out on a quick walk around the block in my neighborhood.

  Please send prayers for a successful day tomorrow! Thank you!!

  Much love to you all! 💗