Lien's 2021 Journey with Stage II Esophageal Cancer

 April 2nd, 2021

It's been awhile since I have last written here. Actually, since my mama's passing in August 2015 to be honest. So much has happened since then. But, I will write more on what is currently happening right now because this is important for me to chronicle my daily thoughts and feelings through this new chapter in my life's journey.

On Thursday, March 29th, 2021, I was diagnosed (not officially until the test results finally confirmed it) with Stage II esophageal cancer. 

An endoscopy procedure was performed on me on March 29th to get a better idea of the cause of my chest pains that I have been experiencing since May/June 2020. I have been losing quite a bit of weight in the last 2.5 months - down from 126 lbs to 106 lbs. And the coughing is increasing. When the sedative wore off, I could hear the word 'cancer'. My heart was racing but knew that this maybe the cause of my chest pains, coughing and severe weight loss. I could hear my husband, Damon and the doctor who performed the endoscopy procedure. I simply wasn't able to comprehend what they were saying as I was groggy from the sedative.

We finally got home from Harborview Medical Center around 7pm. I was hungry and had not had anything to eat since 8pm the night before. All I can eat as of late is the soft and chewy granola bar from Costco, ice cream and the yucky Ensure (chocolate preferred). I still couldn't eat as I was still out of it and just went to sleep. Damon wanted me to sleep on the couch in the living room so that I wouldn't fall of my bed which is high off the floor. Good thinking, dear! 

The next day, the situation that I have been dealt with finally registered as I was getting the letters and photos of my esophagus in My Chart online accounts that confirmed it. Not sure why but despite the shock and reality, I wasn't angry nor completely sad. The sadness did hit later as I cannot stop thinking of my family as this will affect them greatly - my friends and siblings as well. So, instead of asking "Why me, God?" I decided that we need to get to it! Let's fight this, Liennie!

However, my next thought was "How am I going to keep the Little Free Pantry Judkins Park going while I am going through this challenging journey?" Fortunately, I posted about my medical situation on the Little Free Pantry Judkins community Facebook page. The response to help with the keeping the pantry going has been great!

Things work out. Just gotta keep the faith. 😀

I will tell you that I am SO GRATEFUL for my sobriety because I would not even be here to share this journey with you all.

AND...life is still beautiful. 🙏

CT scan was done yesterday, April 1st. I almost wanted to do an April Fools' joke on the technicians as we got along so well and cracking each other up. I chose not to do so as it just wasn't appropriate at that time. Sigh..will hopefully get into next year's April Fools' Day!

I was hesitant to share this on my Facebook personal page because I have not been wanting to share personal stuff or be dramatic which is a far cry from my drinking days. It was a good decision to share it. The enormous love, caring and compassionate words of support has been so uplifting. I cannot thank all my family and friends enough for being here for me. This means the world to me.

Amanda has been a GODSEND! She is helping me navigate all my appointments and communications with the doctors' office and nurse/administration to lessen the stress for me. Thank you so much, Amanda You are wonderful and my sweet daughter. Jack has been checking in on me daily which makes me feel so loved!

We just got off the phone with the nurse coordinator at the University of Washington Medical Office at Northwest Hospital which is affiliated with Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. I KNOW I am in good hands. My appointment is scheduled for next Wednesday with the oncologist but hoping for a cancellation to get in sooner. AND I am now qualified for the Covid vaccination! Sweetness!

My transformed backyard into a wildlife habitat garden is coming along with plants starting to get buds which will soon blossom into fragrant flowers to attract butterflies, bees and (my favorite) Hummingbirds! 

And I just received a free Woodpecker bird house! My front yard is coming along, too! I truly think that SOMEONE in my neighborhood planted Tulip bulbs on the side of my house as they are starting to bloom. I saw these leaves coming up last month and couldn't figure what plants they were. I googled the leaves and they are Tulips! I am sooo not complaining. I am elated! A yellow one has started to blossom. Oh how beautiful it is. There are four other Tulips waiting to burst open to bring me bigger smiles! 

And the Trilliums I brought from our Shoreline home of 23 years are blooming, too!

I am going to sign off for now as my back is hurting and want to pace the writing...and not bore ya! ;) It feels good to get back into writing!

Wishing you all a beautiful Friday (Good Friday) and a lovely Easter weekend.

- Liennie